Seriously, Let us be grateful to the mirror for revealing to us our appearance only. ~Samuel Butler, Erewhon

Today, I bawled out some mean girls. By bawled out, I suppose I mean caught out and scolded, but nonetheless, I summoned the 12 year old Lisa and let those nasty bitches have it. I did it not just for me, but for past and future tween-age girls who will find themselves in a situation such as the one I stumbled upon early this morning.

One of my students has what is best described as an immature and socially awkward manner. I will call her 'A'. She misinterprets social cues and does things that often make me feel embarrassed for her. For example, impulsively getting up just prior to morning announcements and reenacting Jennifer Garner doing the Thriller dance in the movie 'Thirteen Going on Thirty'. 'A' will sob uncontrollably when she is not called on in class and once refused to speak to me because I touched her binder without permission. Yet, this student is rather endearing. She is a pop culture whiz when it comes to the 2000's and can compare protagonists from current novels to those featured in the classics. 'A' can joke around with the best of them and when all is said and done, she is a sweet girl who just wants to fit in but is struggling with the raw and uncomfortable realization that she is in fact different.

For the most part, classmates are kind to her, but there are the girls in the cafeteria who accuse her of being a lesbian simply because that is one of the most horrific statements one can make against another in middle school. (FYI--'A' has assured us she is not a lesbian and doesn't seem to understand what the big deal would be if she was). But today, I hit my limit. As a teacher, it is a struggle to NOT intervene when kids are treating other kids badly. There is a fine line that we grapple with; do we teach kids to stand up for themselves or do we defend against the bullies?? Today, I crossed whatever the line was and I would do it again and again.

Here is what happened:

I was walking down the hall. I see 'A' chatting animatedly amongst three girls. These girls are not her friends. These girls are not her style. These girls are laughing at her and 'A' is blinded by their attention. I slow up and hear Head Honcho Mean Girl say; "So if you like Tyler, why don't you go over to him right now and give him a hug?" 'A' begins to answer, all smiles and excited. Then, like the vulture sweeping in to protect her young, I am on the scene. I say, 'A', please go into the classroom" ( this was happening right outside of first period). She goes right in. Then, I extend my talons (I'm a vulture), and I begin to swipe my claws.

Me: Do you know that girls name? (big hint here Head Honcho Mean Girl (HHMG)...I just said it.)

HHMG: No.

Me: Are you friends with her?

HHMG: No. (She has now turned bright red. Her two other friends are now faking going to their locker and their involvement in this. I do call them out as they leave HHMG out to dry too)

Me: If you are not friends with this girl, then why did I just hear you tell her to hug Tyler?

HHMG: Silent...appears to be holding in a poop...her friends, still tuning out the scene...

Me: Are those your friends?

HHMG: Yes.

Me: Friends, you are in on this too, so listen. Obviously this girl is excited by your attention, considering she was about to go hug some boy she has probably never met. Do you enjoy being entertained by people who you know just want to fit in and will be willing to do anything for your attention simply because they haven't realized that you would never be nice to them?

HHMG and Friends: Jaws open...pooping a little ( I hope)

Me: If your parents saw what just happened, would they be proud of you?

HHMG: No.

Me: Do things that would make your parents proud when they aren't looking. Don't prey on people who you think are weaker than you or who are different. You are bullying this poor girl. Is that how you want to be thought of? As a bully.
If I see this again or if I hear of you doing this, you are going to the Dean.

HHHMG: I am so sorry.

Now, I did get the HHMG's name, but the expression on her face, a mixture of horror, shock and hate (for her so called friends who pretended they were as holy as a nun on Palm Sunday) was hopefully genuine enough that it made her think. I would not be surprised if I am tracked down by a guidance counselor or AP tomorrow after her mother calls and complains about the nasty teacher who accused her daughter of making fun of another student...blah blah...not my child...blah blah..., but I really could care less. These are the girls who tear down the self esteem of those who already have a weak foundation. These are also the girls who wind up marrying the hottie who is bald and sporting 6 flat tires by 30. These are the girls who gain the freshman fifteen and never lose the baby weight (I secretly hope). These are the girls who have overweight or "weird" kids who get made fun of and wish they were nicer way back when.

Now just so you know, I had a convo with 'A' about the situation. I told her, with a breaking heart and a choked back tear, that these girls are not ever going to be her friends and they were making fun of her. I told her that they were mean and a sweet, funny, smart girl like herself should never want to be friends with girls like those. I told her that there are mean girls everywhere, no matter how old we are, and that while it is hard to make friends, one or two good ones are better than a bunch who use others for entertainment. I needed to be candid with her; I need her to see she can do so much better than that. I need her to learn her value.

Maybe that is selfish of me, but teaching is not just a lesson on a chalkboard (SMARTBOARD). It is an opportunity to guide and shape and instill and teach not just from a book, but from the heart.

Seriously, HHMG, go screw yourself.