Seriously, These Were the Seder Topics of 2010

Tonight was Seder number 1. The setting: My parents house.

The cast:
Parents-Rose and Ira Wasserman
Sister- Stacie Wasserman
Husband- Josh Shapiro
Aunt and Uncle- Joyce and Boris Corbin
Cousin- Tiffany Levin

(and Sammy the cat who appeared as soon as food was brought to the table)

After the Waldbaums Haggadahs were distributed, along with yarmulkes for the men, my Uncle Boris began to lead the "Seder". We began with a prayer to be said on Shabbat (it's Monday, not Friday) and then had a thorough discussion about what everyone ate for lunch. We then attempted to partake in some bitter herbs, and Josh told the joke about the difference between parsley and another p word which I hate. In case you were wondering, the difference is nobody eats parsley. At this point, we are all starving and wondering how old the haggadahs are. For some reason, this leads us to a conversation about Jesus and the last supper. We have consumed the egg, mortar and shared the middle matzoh. Josh wants to know when the Afikomem will be hidden. I remind him that Tiffany is the youngest member of this party, therefore, making him ineligable for the search of the hidden matzah. FYI, my dad had just bought him a new pair of shoes, which, in my opinion, is a very nice reward to leave any Seder with. Finally, we are eating. Here is a list, in no particular order, of the topics we discussed.

-healthcare
-employment crisis
-when my Nana Sadie began to observe the decreasing size of a chickens and the change in taste
-Jesse James and Sandra Bullock
-porn stars Jesse James has been with
-porn on the internet
-Chaz Bono
-sex change operations
-being gay
-a desription of the possible ways men have sex with each other (for my aunt who is my cousin's grandmother)
-the reason why my cousin won't date a family friend (he just wants to hook up and she wants a real relationship. My aunt felt the solution to this was to tell the guy that "she is not a machine".)
-RuPaul's show, Drag Race, and what transvestites do with their business to appear as though they are women
-my students
-Isaiah, currently, our cutest family member
-whether or not I plan to "settle down", as in produce a child, and my informing my aunt that "THE sex" is taking place. This was met by a request to have a baby before she dies. I would like to deliver on that (really, no pun intended there), but that is for nature to decide. I, like my cousin Tiffany, am not a machine.

So basically, the Wasserman, Corbin, Shapiro, Levin Seder was all about the brisket and sex. Seriously one of the best Seders I have ever attended!