I swore I would be boycotting Dancing With the Stars this season. Fighting words for a girl who doesn't even watch the show. I just felt, and still feel, that Bristol Palin is not even a D list star, let alone a star. She is Sara's daughter and the world knew she had S-E-X. The bump she was sporting was proof enough. While she is now the face of why teen pregnancy is not cool (hindsight is 20/20), I still do not agree with ABC's decision to display her shakin' what her mama gave her. I do agree with her preaching abstinence.
But, there I was, watching away. I really was hoping that The Situation would be dancing shirtless, but considering he brings Guidos to the viewership of the show, I believe he will be around for a while, hence, there will be a shirtless dance at some point. I am hoping that the women, with the exception of Margaret Cho, will remain too; I love the way those men move. It is like prime-time, rated G porn***, if there is such a thing.
After Cho made a mockery of the Viennese Waltz, DWTS began its moguls spiral. What is this she means by "moguls spiral"? Without explaining what a mogul is (get a dictionary), downhill we went when Michael Bolton was introduced as a "living musical legend." The only saving grace for him was that he did not bring back his "sexy"; his mullet. Said mullet has been rated as a "Top 25 Mullets in Music" in certain circles.
BUT WAIT!!!! Here comes a little bit of uphill: Jennifer Grey!!! She was awesome. I felt my longtime chldhood man crush, Patrick Swayze, was right there, whispering into her ear; "It's like a heartbeat, Ga-Gong." For all I know, Grey really sucked, but I have her on such a pedestal from being the star of one of my all time favorite movies that I don't even care.
And now for the part that nightmares are made of. It was the Hoff's turn. I understand that he is a big star, a sex symbol even, in Germany. What I want to know, is what the hell else do they watch there????? Definitely not Andy Whitmore in Spartacus.....
So this big dufus is dancing and then, he rips his shirt open. EEEEWWWWW!!!! To the words "SEX BOMB" no less. He is a sex grenade. I didn’t even wait to see his scores, but you know that if there are any German tourists in town, the Hoff has their vote.
***David Hasselhoff: If you read this, it is just my opinion. I loved you in Bay Watch.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I Apologize
Remember when I vowed to update this blog at least once a week? Well, I have clearly broken that promise. I apologize. I mean it. Cross my heart. But I will not promise to update once a week anymore; i just cannot disappoint you like that.
Now do not think for a second that Raves....Rants… has not been on my mind or in my heart; it is always with me, wherever I go. I have just been busy. Doing what you ask? Tanning on the beach, reading on the beach and napping on the beach. Or napping on my couch. This summer, I worked like a dog; the life skills program from 7:45-1:15 followed by four additional tutoring hours a week. I was driving back and forth to the town I work and tutor in twice a day, twice a week. Cry me a river!! Bust out the cheese for my WHINE!! Set it to a sad song, sort of like a dirge, on a violin!! I do not expect any sympathy, considering I lived it up this summer, but the money I spent on gas and time I spent in the car added up. So I had no choice but to drink copious amounts of wine, often consumed just feet from my abode, at my friend Csjako's place. Or I was attending Jersey Shore parties at Robyn’s. Or "hosting" a bbq at Mac's, who kindly cooked for me, miscellaneous friends, but for Josh too. (FYI: She cooked Josh's sausage to perfection, only for him not to be hungry for sausage at all that night or the night the followed. But I do appreciate her agreeing to having the Q I suggested she have at her home.) I had dinners to attend, lots of DVR to watch and more naps to take. SOR-RY!
But the reason I have finally decided to sit my can down and blog away tonight is because I was actually reminded by a superior, unbeknownst to her, that I have been lacking in the written expression area. I had the pleasure of attending an English department meeting today and the "motivation" for the attendees was to share with a neighbor any books we had read this summer or any writing we had done. Clearly, this was not going to be a serious exercise at all considering we were all sitting next to friends who we spoke to (by speak I mean texted or bbm-ed every day). Of course, the joke was that I had written an epic poem, my friend Cheryl wrote Haiku along the shores of Jones Beach, and Ro-Diddy wrote a comedic screenplay in the spirit of "Wedding Crashers". Yet, this was not a waste of time. I realized I was a bit disappointed that I had not written squat all summer. Don’t get me wrong. I do not consider this writing a work of art by any means. It’s just a way of expressing myself without censor. I can be me without having to worry that a publisher won’t pick up my work or an editor will rip it apart. This is a no pressure way for me to be the writer I thought I once wanted to be.
My true fans know that I posted two items this summer. But does a posted piece of writing I had done five years ago count? They entry about Mad Libs was pretty weak. So I am here to tell you, I am back. I am not sure you are ready for me, though. I have an arsenal of backlogged ideas/observations/rants for you. But be patient. Wait. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Now do not think for a second that Raves....Rants… has not been on my mind or in my heart; it is always with me, wherever I go. I have just been busy. Doing what you ask? Tanning on the beach, reading on the beach and napping on the beach. Or napping on my couch. This summer, I worked like a dog; the life skills program from 7:45-1:15 followed by four additional tutoring hours a week. I was driving back and forth to the town I work and tutor in twice a day, twice a week. Cry me a river!! Bust out the cheese for my WHINE!! Set it to a sad song, sort of like a dirge, on a violin!! I do not expect any sympathy, considering I lived it up this summer, but the money I spent on gas and time I spent in the car added up. So I had no choice but to drink copious amounts of wine, often consumed just feet from my abode, at my friend Csjako's place. Or I was attending Jersey Shore parties at Robyn’s. Or "hosting" a bbq at Mac's, who kindly cooked for me, miscellaneous friends, but for Josh too. (FYI: She cooked Josh's sausage to perfection, only for him not to be hungry for sausage at all that night or the night the followed. But I do appreciate her agreeing to having the Q I suggested she have at her home.) I had dinners to attend, lots of DVR to watch and more naps to take. SOR-RY!
But the reason I have finally decided to sit my can down and blog away tonight is because I was actually reminded by a superior, unbeknownst to her, that I have been lacking in the written expression area. I had the pleasure of attending an English department meeting today and the "motivation" for the attendees was to share with a neighbor any books we had read this summer or any writing we had done. Clearly, this was not going to be a serious exercise at all considering we were all sitting next to friends who we spoke to (by speak I mean texted or bbm-ed every day). Of course, the joke was that I had written an epic poem, my friend Cheryl wrote Haiku along the shores of Jones Beach, and Ro-Diddy wrote a comedic screenplay in the spirit of "Wedding Crashers". Yet, this was not a waste of time. I realized I was a bit disappointed that I had not written squat all summer. Don’t get me wrong. I do not consider this writing a work of art by any means. It’s just a way of expressing myself without censor. I can be me without having to worry that a publisher won’t pick up my work or an editor will rip it apart. This is a no pressure way for me to be the writer I thought I once wanted to be.
My true fans know that I posted two items this summer. But does a posted piece of writing I had done five years ago count? They entry about Mad Libs was pretty weak. So I am here to tell you, I am back. I am not sure you are ready for me, though. I have an arsenal of backlogged ideas/observations/rants for you. But be patient. Wait. Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
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