1. Bad Breath. If you are trying to figure out why friends and colleagues inch further and further away from you during conversations or simply small talk, take note of the red flag.
2. Bike riders who just ride without heeding the rules of the road.
3. Long Beach motorcycle cops who ride as though they are emulating an episode of Chips. Like bike riders, heed the rules of the road. Be role models. You are not above the law.
4. Leg Sweat. This is new for me. Not only am I dripping sweat from the usual places (forehead, neck, back), now my legs sweat too. This brings me to…
5. Hormones. Can’t live with them, can’t live without them.
6. Uncorrected lisps. REALLY??? How could someone have let that get past 4 years of age??
7. Politics that encroach upon social situations. Let’s focus on the fact that education system is going down the toilet, people are out of jobs, other nations hate us….blah blah blah.
8. Extended waiting periods at a doctor’s office. Last week Em had an appointment. We waited an hour. She is an infant. She dropped a deuce of epic proportions and I had to change her in the stroller. Then, she missed her feeding. How do you do that to a baby and tell the mother they are understaffed? One more chance Pediatric Healthcare of L.I….one more chance!
9. Stickers on cars. Not bumper stickers---stickers. Get your kids a sticker book.
10. People who touch a baby’s hands. Baby hands are so precious and cute. Everyone loves to feel like the baby is “holding” their hand. That grip…it’s a reflex. Babies put their hands in their mouths. I don’t know where your hands have been so keep them to yourself.
11. A baby is not a football. Let him/her be.
12. An oldie but goodie---at some point, your wedding pic as your profile pic gets old—in my opinion, it has an expiration date of a year and can make an appearance on your anniversary. I get it---you think you looked amazing that day, and you probably did. But enough is a enough.
13. The commercial for yellow, fungally screwed up toenails complete with animated eyes on the toe. GROSS.
14. The commercial for trans-vaginal mesh. REALLY????? I love topics revolving around body parts, bodily functions, etc….but this is really going too far.
15. Late night infomercial about the life changing effects of Viagra. Go to a support group, call a help line, or have a night out with the guys.
16. People who just cross the street despite oncoming traffic. Today I was driving down Park Ave. in the Rock in my mother’s Corolla. Mom—your breaks work!!! How do I know? Two idiots carrying their yoga mats to Bikram were so psyched to get their Zen on, they basically walked in front of your car. That mysterious smell in your car…a little poop might have come out. When I screamed at them through the closed window “Are you effing kidding me???” they both held up their hands in apology. Thanks for the heart attack jackholes!
17. Another oldie but goodie: Shape-Ups. Despite Joe Namath’s plug, the majority of people I see in these shoes are still big. They might have great calves, but they are not a replacement for exercise, nor are they shoes to work out in. I hate them and am still angry at myself for nearly purchasing Fit Flops. I figured they would compliment my exercise routine.
18. The Mob Wives. They are such trash. What annoys me even more is my faithful viewership.
19. Celebrity themed shows such as Celeb Rehab. Amy Fisher---celeb because she tried to kill Mary-Jo. Michael Lohan-daughter is Lindsay. Steve Adler—more famous for being on Celeb Rehab at this point.
20. Dramatic Facebook status posts that generate the following comments: “Are you okay?” “What’s wrong?”
Examples of such posts: “I am so upset.”
“It happened again.” “This was the worst day of my life.”
If any of these items apply to you or someone you know, get over it. I can deal with the fact that I might be annoying too.
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