Every year, we encounter not only new students, but their parents. Often the students tend to be the more realistic ones; parents want their kids to be who they want them to be. They don’t want to hear their child cannot do something at their grade level, let alone unable to do that something at all. There is a poem written by a parent of a student with a disability and of course the title and author escapes me right now. The poem is an extended metaphor comparing the child to a trip to Europe. You plan to have a baby that will be x,y, and z, only to discover they are a,b,c. Similarly, you plan a fantastic trip to Paris, only to land in Berlin. The point was, your expectations have to change.
The expectations I have for my students vary in degree. I do expect all of them to be kind one another and to become citizens of the world who make a positive contribution to society. Some of students will contribute by becoming teachers themselves, others will be working someplace where they practice a rote skill. But in the scheme of things, who really cares? They will have beaten the odds that someone has stacked against them at some point in their lives and hopefully proven a few people wrong along the way.
Now, we have had a very tense situation all year with a particular parent whose daughter is significantly impaired. She is as sweet as can be and she laughs at all of my jokes. This student also has a great sense of humor herself. She lacks the inhibitions that would make another person self conscious, and I believe this protects her from really seeing how cruel other kids are. Ironically, my “coolest” boys who “do not need any help” are very kind to her. A lot of my students are exempt from taking a foreign language due to severe receptive language disabilities, so they were discussing who takes a language and who does not. One of the cool boys asked this student if she took a foreign language and she firmly replied “YES”. “What language?”, he asked. “ENGLISH”, she proudly responded. The irony was not lost on me folks; English is definitely a foreign language to some. The point is, she did not realize that she was not taking a foreign language, but the kids did not needle or bash her in the same way they would have done to someone else. They just ‘get it’ when it comes to her. Anyway, the parents are under the impression that their daughter is going to be able to do x,y, and z. For now, she is making progress and the achievement of those goals remains to be seen. About 4 months ago, this student was brought to my inclusion class after being in a self contained social studies for at least 5 years. I modify work to the extent a child needs it, so for this student, I figured I had my work cut out for me. I was not worried about the kid so much as the parents who have historically picked apart every letter of every paper sent home. I almost had a heart attack when Isent home a failing grade but instead I was told that they were impressed she did that well. WOW! Quite a compliment. So now, as I begin to write a final just for this student, I figured I would let the parents know that I would be cluing them in on what to study and to alleviate any worry that I expected their daughter to have to know the final review packet inside and out. Knowing who they are and what they so desire, I waited for their response. Here is what I received (a bit edited so as not to bore you)
Hi Ms. Shapiro,
Thanks so much for writing to us. …….
My husband and I truly appreciate the dedication, insight and expertise you have brought to our daughter's seventh grade experience. (We so wish you taught eighth grade!) At some point I would like to talk to you a bit more about_____________.
Thanks again,
___________________
So I planned a trip to visit Alcatraz, and instead I ended up in Bora Bora. Seriously, life is full of surprises.
Best teacher ever!
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