I AM NOT AN IDIOT

I AM NOT AN IDIOT. I might be a little ditzy at times, but I attribute that to sleep deprivation. I might be technologically challenged, but no one is perfect. I might be bitchy, but I am a strong willed, perhaps slightly OCD, Sagittarius. But, alas, I am not an idiot. Day in and day out, my daughter takes her socks off. They are the last thing I put on her before we leave in the morning, and the first thing I take off of her when we get home, if she has not gotten to them first. I myself hate socks too. I take mine off before I even get the sweats on after work. So, I get it. What happens to the socks? They are often used as teethers, leaving them soaked. Additionally, they are just held, I suppose in the way a security blanket would be. Other times, the socks are thrown around the backseat of the car. In stores, they are left lonely and discarded in the middle of an aisle, but are either rescued by me or fellow patrons waiting on lines behind us. I had to buy socks in Old Navy to replace a missing pair, only to find them after I made my purchase. There was no use returning them; you can never have too many pairs of socks. So, when you see me strolling along through a store or the mall, you might be inclined to shoot me a dirty look or shake your head in disbelief. You might be thinking that this woman (me), is a total idiot, completely unfit for motherhood, as her child ISNT WEARING ANY SOCKS!!!!! I am so sick of being on the receiving end of the glares and comments. For example, today I went into the Children’s Place. Quite a few people stopped to say hello to the babe, not one of them commenting on her naked feet. Rather, they took note of how well behaved she was and laughed at her silly sounds and smiles. It was clear to them that a happy baby was in tow, wearing a puffy coat and hat. Her mother also had a blanket thrown over the handle of the stroller. The socks were discarded to the left of Em, but visible next to her arm. Somehow, my gut told me this sockless venture was too good to be true. My gut was right. As I approached the cashier, in a syrupy sweet voice, a woman said: “OH!!!! Look at you!!! Your feet must be so cold!!! It’s too cold to be out without socks.” This translates to: “You poor baby!!! Your mother clearly has no regard for your health and only cares about herself. She is such a dirt bag!!! This is the problem with kids today. Their parents are incompetent.” What I said, through a fake smile and somewhat clenched jaw: “Her socks are right here!! OF course it’s too cold to be without socks!” This translates to: “You fucking idiot!!! Babies take their socks off. Why am I going to engage in a sock on, sock off war with an 8 month old when I am inside a heated store? If you are so concerned with how I dress my child, say it to me, not through my baby in a baby talk voice!!!! Quit judging me. I AM NOT AN IDIOT!!!!!!!!”