Fact or Fiction

"Women Are Smarter"
Grateful Dead

Let us put men and women together
See which one is smarter
Some say men, but I say no
Women run the men like a puppet show

It ain't me
It's the people that say
Men are leading the women astray
But I say, it's the women today
Smarter than the man in every way

Chorus:
That's right
The women are smarter
That's right
The women are smarter
That's right
The women are smarter
The women are smarter
That's right

Little boy sit on the corner and cry
Big man come and he asked him why
He said, "I can't do what the big boys do"
The man sat down and he cried too

It ain't me
It's the people that say
Men are leading the women astray
But I say, it's the women today
Smarter than the man in every way

Chorus:
That's right
The women are smarter
That's right
The women are smarter
That's right
The women are smarter
The women are smarter
That's right, that's right

Ever since the world began
Women been banned from the ways of man
Listen boy cuz I've got a plan
Give it up, don't try and understand

It ain't me
It's the people that say
Men are leading the women astray
But I say, it's the women today
Smarter than the man in every way

Chorus:
That's right
The women are smarter
That's right
The women are smarter
That's right
The women are smarter
The women are smarter
That's right

Let us put men and women together
See which one is smarter
Some say men, but I say no
Women run the men like a puppet show

It ain't me
It's the people that say
Men are leading the women astray
But I say, it's the women today
Smarter than the man in every way

Chorus:
That's right
The women are smarter
That's right
The women are smarter
That's right
The women are smarter
The women are smarter
That's right, that's right

Perhaps the Dead were ahead of their time or maybe they were just realistic. I do believe that if women have to squeeze a baby-- a freakn human--out of their you know what, then they must be the superior gender. We put up with pms, periods, sore boobs, pregnancy, and MEN. Men who thank god at night that they are men, men who have a brain but often think with their "guy", men who either leave the seat down but pee on the rim or who leave it up so that women suddenly wonder where the hell the bidet came from in the middle of the night.

Now, now. Settle down. I am not a man hater, although I do hate some men. Overall, women get a bad rap because we are so emotional. We cry one minute, laugh the next. I admit it; I am a certifiable train wreck/bitch/psycho at certain times. Yet, why is it men don't get the rap when they are having their own form of "that time of the month"? This rant is not even what the core of this entry is about. This rant is trying to move the focus from what I have heard to be as fact; that men age better than women. If that were true, then why do men generally pay higher life insurance premiums than women? Perhaps men have been known to be more risky in their driving or their ego's tend to push them to complete the dare presented to them despite the rational little angel on the shoulder that is telling them to just walk away. But i must mention again, that women squeeze humans out of their va-jj's!!! I would like to blow this "fact" up. This past weekend, I saw firsthand what has happened to some of the men I used to ogle when they were wee lads. And none of it is good. Cosmetically, women are at an advantage; makeup does a world of wonder. Have you ever seen a woman without her "face" on? If the sight was more of a scream than Paranormal Activity, then perhaps she should look into permanent makeup application. Or flip it. If a woman looks better without makeup, then great; another option. Let's talk hair. When a woman goes gray, she can dye her hair. Roots never have to be an issue if one is vigilant and has an excellent colorist. Hair can also be crafted so that parts are manipulated this way and that. Men on the other hand, normally don't wear makeup. It is cool if they do, but I'm just saying. Sometimes all a gal needs is slap of lip gloss and a quick coat of mascara. What can a man do?? Chapstick? When a man dyes his hair, it is sooooooooooo obvious. When a man wears a piece, it is soooooooooooo obvious. Rogaine, plugs....GO FOR IT!!! Just don't pretend that the one piece of hair stretched over from the opposite side of your head is the cure all for baldness. It is not.
Now, weight. Women take a lot of crap when they put on a few pounds, yet with a man, it is a different story. I do not believe they get accused of being pregnant when there is a belly bulge and fashions do not dictate the A-line/empire style displayed in many a storefront window. The paunch seems to take a backseat to the pouch women have for no other reason than they are a women. BOOBS--they are for women, not for men. If I knew you back in the day and I see you now, at a pool, for instance, and it looks like you are topless, then yes, you have man boobs. Nature is not always kind to men with this aspect, but I do believe that if I knew you then, we all would have noticed your girls. So when I walk passed some guys who perhaps I might have panted over, even stalked a bit, and see that their hairs are now a hair, they have breasts, a gut and two to three chins, then I look at myself and my girls from back in the day, is it so insane to think that maybe there is something to be said for how the genders age?
Could it be that these guys would look better if they took better care of themselves? Is it them who have let themselves go now that domestic life has taken over? Why are women the ones who are supposed to keep up their appearance and not the men? Check out this Excerpt from “Housekeeping Monthly”, 13 May, 1955

· “Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready, on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal (especially his favorite dish) is part of the warm welcome needed.

· Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you’ll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.

· Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.

· Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives.

· Gather up schoolbooks, toys, paper, etc and then run a dust cloth over the tables.

· Over the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering for his comfort will provide you immense personal satisfaction.

· Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children’s hands and face (if they are small), comb their hair, and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part. Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet.

· Be happy to see him. Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
· Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his return is not the time. Let him talk first-remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

· Make the evening his. Never complain if he comes home late or goes out to dinner, or other places of entertainment without you. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, and his very real need to be at home and relax.

· Your goal: Try to make sure your home is a place of peace, order and tranquility where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

· Don’t greet him with complaints and problems.

· Don’t complain if he’s late home for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day.

· Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or have him lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.

· Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.

· Don’t ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.

· A good wife always knows her place.”

Re-direct your attention to the second bullet. REALLY? If i am busy arranging pillows, focusing on the tone and volume of my voice, pushing all of my emotions down into the pit of my stomach, cleaning up toys, etc, preparing a meal, then the least you can do, honey, is trim your toe nails, camo your gut and keep a shirt on. If you wear the pants, then let me flaunt my boobs.