SERIOUSLY? DOES ANYONE ELSE SEE WHAT I SEE?

1. This man caught a fish last week at the beach. It was a keeper. After the crowd peeping his catch dissipates, the guy tries to put it in a plastic bag, the kind you get at the grocery store. The fish however, is not having it. If I was the fish I would have been thinking; "Great, a fine mess I have gotten myself into. I knew that piece of chum that I sunk my teeth into was too good to be true." If I was that fish my thoughts would have been interrupted by my head getting slammed into a rock along the jetty.

So, I see the guy slam the fish's head into a jetty. I am a realist. I am aware that the process of getting my meal to my plate is not necessarily one that lacks a violent or unpleasant ending for the animal I am consuming, but seriously? Did I need to bear witness to that? That moment made me want to scream out "MURDERER!!!", but in the voice of a student I had. (This girl has a major speech impediment where her 'r' sounds like a 'w'. She is mega into the environment and animal rights which is completely respectable. This girl is not the coolest chick in the coop and has been taunted for years. When another girl gut up into the animal rights activist/speech imped. girl's face with the threat of stepping on a spider, all hell broke loose. The spider was killed and the girl who did it was met with a fist to the face and the sound of "MUWWWDEWWWWEWWWWW (murderer) ringing in her ears).

So the fisherman ("the guy" or "murderer", now satisfied that the fish is no longer moving, puts the fish in the plastic grocery bag. Then, he puts it in a duffel bag. I could not have been the only one to see this!!!

2.VOMIT

I also see people vomiting. I don't get it. I am like the visual vomit magnet. For example, I am on a train and as we are pulling out of the station, I see a girl hurl along the tracks. This of course makes me want to hurl. Later that same day, I see a woman holding her daughter in her lap on the sidewalk outside my building as she vomited up what looked like 3 days worth of food. Another night, I glance out the window of a car and see a guy projectile into a crowded city street. Later that night, I projectiled in a parking lot. A few months ago, my nieces slept over. Early in the morning/middle of the night, I am awoken to the sound of what i have coined as "the barf burp"...you know what I'm talking about....and a nasty ass sour aroma rapidly sprints up through my nostrils. Yes, she did it!! Puked on the floor and wall of my bedroom. Thank god she missed the bed....Well, that same morning, I walk out of my building and what am I stopped short by? A freaking pile of puke....You know how there is that rule where things are supposed to happen in 3's? Well, for me, puke happens in 2's.

3. FEET...Feet also fall into the category of things I hate as well as does anyone else see what I see. I discovered that a woman in my building has webbed toes, but of course, no one was around to share in this discovery. I noticed yesterday that someone I am associated with has an "index toe" that is not only longer than the others, but hangs over the front of their shoe...

4. The man who walks the beach with not just a fanny pack, but a speedo

5. The man on the beach who wears FIT FLOPS, which are women's shoes (but his calves do look great)

6. Do you see the cloud of smoke coming out from 16P's door (not the real apt. # but I must protect my peeps)? This dude asked me if I ever smell weed. Yes, I do and I see it and that must have been some good crap you just got in. I also see randoms going to your door day in and day out and when your kid comes to visit you, you spend an awful lot of time on your balcony with a "cigarette".

7. The kid playing pocket pool during class.

8. One boy giving the "B.J" signal to another boy across the room. And they saw me see them...and it was embarassing for all of us...And I hope they had no idea what they were doing.

9.