The Ties That Bind

I don't mean to brag, but I consider myself rich in the friends area. I have amazing friends who I not only work with, but with who I laugh a lot with, cry a lot with, and just can be myself around. We exist in the day to day of our lives. These are the people who know every minute detail of my life but who also see the adult version and the professional version of Lisa. I also have my childhood friends, whom I have know as early as four when the Wassermans moved on up to Rockville Centre from Far Rockaway. Around them, I am Snuffy, Snufs, Soo Soo Nee Uh Fee. These girls have known me for a long ass time. Together, we have endured Z. Cavariccis, pouffy bangs, our first zits, our first -----whisper----periods, first loves and breakups....I could go on all day here. And while our friendships have ebbed and flowed as a result of geography, changes in ourselves, and just life in general, when I am see them, it feels like home.

This week, one of the moms of "just the ten of us" (a silly nickname that I believe Pete Shimkin made up for the girls loosely based on a tv show that was popular for ten minutes in the early 90's) passed away. I have no words to console my old, sweet friend and really, what could I possible say to make this hurt go away? As a unit, this is the first parent to pass, and the pain we are all feeling for a mom who we borrowed from time to time when we needed her, whose home and heart were always open to us, is just so deep.

There is something to be said for not seeing someone for a while, yet being able to pick up the phone and jump right in as if not a day has passed. There is something to be said for when a tragedy strikes, and you have instant backup ready to help you and protect you from this cruel world. There is something to be said for when, awkwardly waiting for a funeral to begin, Nicole says just the thing, more out of nervousness than a desire to be comical, but nonetheless lightens the moods and reminds you that you are with family.
There is something to be said when your own children (not mine) are playing with your childhood friend's children and the get along as famously as we once all did. I actually went to Gino's last night with my parents (I was really kickin' it old school this weekend), and across from us was a booth of girls, skinny, chubby, blond, brunette, who were "out to dinner." "Just the ten of us" loved going out to dinner, either to some now defunct Chinese place on Sunrise Hiqhway or to Gino's. I believe our sophisticated taste also resulted in an order of Rigatoni Marinara or 2 Grandma slices.* I looked across at these girls who probably thought I was a creeper staring at them and whipped out my Berry for a mass text. It is important to note than in the 90's, there was no texting, so of course I got scolded at the table for this in 2010. I was just letting the girls know what I saw and how it reminded me of us.

These days, as I have said, our relationships vary in the degree of closeness. But that is life. I have been saddened by this at times, but I am to blame as much as anyone else is. Life is just so damn complicated, however, what we should take consolation in, is the fact that at a moment's notice, we will be there for each other.

Those are the ties that bind.