I Think I Am Seriously the Only Jewish Girl From Long Island Who Did Not Go To Sleepaway Camp

As a Jewish girl from Long Island, I am expected to be able to play Jewish Geography with the best of them. Unfortunately, I am terrible at this game because I didn't go to sleep away camp. Growing up, all of my Jewish friends went away, summer after summer while I remained home working on my tan and my weight. I am an exception to the rule. There is the game '6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon' and there is the Jewish camp version that I call '6 Degrees of Nicole Wolfson Nadboy', based on my oldest friend, Nicole Wolfson Nadboy.

I hated day camp. They made you stay out in the heat, get naked in a cabana with other girls to change in and out of a bathing suit and we had to play sports. I would beg my parents to stay home. I had a stomach ache every morning before the bus arrived. I was a shy kid and overweight. It sucked. I was made fun of. The irony of this is that the people who made fun of me now have kids that are slightly over the average weight for kids their age. Karma is a bitch.

If I hated day camp, you sure as hell can bet I wasn't asking my parents to pack up a big trunk for me to be shipped to the boondocks where I would not have any A.C. and would have to swim in a lake. I had seen movies and the fat kids somehow were always the victims. One summer, while my friends were working low on the totem pole jobs at their beloved sleep aways or on a teen tour, I stayed home but attended morning drama classes. Of course, the kids who made fun of me all year were right by my side for the entire month of July. Apparently, I like to be tortured.

My point, I truly believe I am the only Jewish girl on Long Island that did not go to sleep away camp. If you know any others, send them my way. But, I regret that I did not even try it. I'm sure my parents would have been able to drum up the funds for me to go away even if it was just for one month. They had a ton of options amongst the tre-state characters, weight loss camps included! Regardless of where I could have gone, I bet I would have lost weight, made some friends and grew a thicker skin. I probably would have been inconsolable for a few days, but I often wonder how I would have turned out if I was away for eight weeks.

So, in the spirit of summer, which is right around the corner, check out the American Camping Association's website. Become a fan on Facebook. There is nothing wrong with researching the place where you would like to send your kids someday when the weather is warm and you just want some alone time....But seriously, sleep away camp seems like a missed opportunity to me. I think I would have been better equipped with leadership skills and independence. Perhaps I would have been more outgoing and confident at an earlier age. Did I eventually bloom like a flower? HELL YEAH! But what could have been....