Dear people at Natalie's Wednesday Night 6:30 Spin Class,
It is so great to see you all here. I am glad I made it tonight. I tutor right before this and sometimes, depending on the workload, I need to stay a little later.Seriously, it was touch and go tonight. My client had some issues calculation interest and commission. Every now and then a work function prohibits me from missing class. People who know me well know that I do not make plans Wednesday nights; this class is part of my weekly routine. But tonight, some of you really got on my nerves. As a mature adult, I realize you are not really the problems. Rather, I am making YOU my problem. Before I send out some personal shout outs, just know that I kicked some serious ass tonight and my resistance was turned up higher than yours. WE WERE ON A HILL----fly wheels don't lie!! And even though I am having a Zone bar and glass of wine for dinner post class, just know that between that massive, 15 minute hill and the energy I have exerted writing this, I have already burned the calories off. SO,
1. Man in full riding ensemble: no need to moan in a sexual manner. The row behind you laughed at your vocals. The ride was good, but it was no orgasm worthy of sharing with a group full of strangers. How do you think your wife felt about that? She was on the bike next to you! Be assured, the row behind you shared a moment that has forever bonded us when we chuckled over your vocals and glanced at each other in a knowing way.
2. Girls who came in late: there were two bikes. By complaining to Natalie in the front of the room, ignoring the calls from fellow spinners that there were in fact bikes, you delayed the start of class. So you couldn't sit together for 50 minutes. This wasn't lunch in a middle school cafeteria or a 24 hour flight overseas. DEAL!!!! And FYI--you were late so your right to "your" bikes was ceded. Follow the damn rules.
3. Guy in bike shorts that leave nothing to the imagination....spill on aisle 3!!!clean up your sweat puddle !!! Put down a tarp or at least a plastic shower curtain. I will totally be the idiot who pulls the slip on a banana peel move and land in your fluids. Also--IT WAS A HILL!!!! Just because you pedal 2,500 revolutions per minute doesn't mean you are doing it right!
Love, Lisa
You should print this out and post it on the door of your class next Wednesday. Or, print out little links to it on paper and give it to those you "bonded" with in the back row. Too freaking funny!
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